Loneliness Is My Best Friend

boy at window 300x247 Loneliness Is My Best FriendOne of the most difficult aspects of my life since becoming a follower of Christ has been in figuring out relationships.  Everything seemed much simpler before I was a Christian.  It was clear who my friends were, who were acquaintances and who were enemies.  I knew who had my back, and my friends knew that I had theirs.  I was wanted, included, sought after, and loved.  Since seeking to follow Christ, everything has become complicated in this area.  I would’ve expected the opposite.

This Is My Love

It’s tough when the night ends and the friends go home.  Some to their wives, some to their girlfriends or roommates, but me to an empty apartment.  No one to hold; to love and to feel loved by.  And the conversations I have with God are a mixture of truth and imagination.  And in the end, what I am left with is just me.  But is it just me?  While some friends of mine are comforted by the one’s that are important to them, I remain alone.  I want what they have; to be held; to feel loved.  But in my loneliness, perhaps it is me who is comforted more than they.  My heart is not given to another frail man or woman.  My comfort is not in that which is perishing.  My heart belongs to the Lord, and it is Him that I seek in my crying and my pain.  He alone cares for me and comforts me in my distress.  Those closest to me don’t know me, but He does.  He knows me fully.  And though they love me based partly on my performance, He loves me based on the sacrifice made for me.  And when I feel unloved, He defines love for me.  And being alone in this passing world is a gift; a preview of what is to come; given to me because I have no one else, but I have the One who can love me in the fullest sense.  And suffering, loneliness, and isolation are a blessing to me.  Because in my longing for love, real Love show’s its face to me, albeit through this ever-present sin.  But I am not alone.  And I wait for the day when I dwell in Love forever.  I want to go home.  Father, please take me home.

But until that day, make me your loyal and faithful servant.

Loneliness comes over us sometimes as a sudden tide. It is one of the terms of our humanness, and, in a sense, therefore, incurable. Yet I have found peace in my loneliest times not only through acceptance of the situation, but through making it an offering to God, who can transfigure it into something for the good of others. ~Elisabeth Elliot

Turn to me O Lord, and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
bring me out of my distresses.
Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.
(Psalm 25:16-18 ESV)

2 comments
Dan7005
Dan7005 moderator

Hi William,

I agree, it is tempting to complain!  We each struggle in our own way for sure, and to the struggler, whatever their own particular battle, it is likely as severe and painful to them as is anyone else's.  Often, when I get to the point of intense loneliness, I think it is God offering me an opportunity for some form of necessary course correction or adjustment to my life/thinking.  Not that He is necessarily causing me to feel lonely, but that He seized the opportunity to offer me a different choice, an opportunity to grow through it.  God seems to use this as one of the ways that He is carrying out change in me.  Although it isn't the only time by far, but frequently anyway I feel most close to Him, and that He is most close to me in moments of intense loneliness where it seems He is all I have.  In re-reading this, I think He is guiding me to find the appropriate balance between relying on relationships/friendship to meet certain needs and relying on Him. 

Thanks for stopping by!

Dan

WilliamOKC1
WilliamOKC1

I saw a priest once post online a very beautiful response to a young struggler with homosexuality. He told the young struggler that God had given him a very special path to walk, to have God alone as his special love in life. Each life path carries with it its own unique pleasures and challenges. It is tempting to complain, but ultimately we must all play the cards we're dealt, and trust that God has something very beautiful and unique in mind for each of us. God bless.